There’s a new member at Gold Coast Master Rowers. They’re sleek, attractive, in excellent physical condition and, despite only recently arriving at the club, already seem to be extremely popular.
Yes, GCMR has a shiny new boat.
And judging by the number of people keen to take our latest addition out on the lake, we thought it was only fair that our newest member received a proper introduction. So, in the interests of helping everyone get acquainted…
MEMBER PROFILE
Name: Yet to fully appreciate how important I am
Age: Brand new, thank you very much
Occupation: Making Masters rowers look good
Home: Gold Coast Master Rowers
Relationship status: It’s complicated. Several members already seem to think I’m theirs.
Best feature:
My sleek lines and youthful good looks. Unlike most Masters rowers, I don’t make any strange noises when I get moving.
Favourite conditions:
Flat water, blue skies and just enough of a breeze to make everyone comment on what a beautiful morning it is.
Least favourite conditions:
Crosswinds, rough water and anyone uttering the words, “It’ll be fine once we get out there.”
Likes:
Clean catches.
Good timing.
Smooth finishes.
Being washed down properly after an outing.
People standing around admiring me.
Dislikes:
Crabs.
Collisions.
Being dropped.
Being left dirty.
People blaming their equipment.
Especially the last one.
First Impressions of GCMR?
Everyone seems very friendly. Possibly too friendly. Since arriving, I’ve noticed a remarkable number of people casually wandering past, running a hand along my hull and asking questions such as:
“Who’s rowing this tomorrow?”, “Have you had a go in it yet?” and “Do you think we could take the new one?”
I’m beginning to understand what it feels like to be popular.
What Are You Looking for in a Crew?
Ideally, two rowers with impeccable technique, perfect timing and absolutely no tendency to rush the slide. However, I have been advised that I may need to manage my expectations. Apparently this is Masters rowing.
I’m therefore willing to consider crews who can get me on and off the water without dropping me. Clean catches would be considered a bonus.
Any Particular Type?
I don't like to discriminate. Men (lightweight preferably) women, mixed crews, experienced rowers… I’m happy to give everyone a chance.
Although I have noticed that the phrase “I think we should put the lighter crew in the new boat” can cause a surprising amount of sudden interest in people’s body weight. I’m staying out of that one.
How Are You Settling In?
Very well. I've already enjoyed a few outings on the lake and, from what I can gather, feedback has been positive. There has been much discussion about how I feel, how I run and whether I’m quick. It’s quite flattering.
Although I should point out that I can only work with what I’m given. If the boat isn’t running particularly well, there are two other possible explanations sitting inside it. Just saying.
Have You Met Everyone Yet?
Not quite. A few GCMR members are currently sidelined through injury and operations and have therefore had to watch from afar as other people take me out. I understand they are absolutely delighted about this. Thrilled, in fact. Not remotely jealous. I look forward to meeting them when they return. I have a feeling they may already have called dibs.
What Are Your Ambitions at GCMR?
I'd like to help crews row faster, race hard and enjoy plenty of great mornings on the water. A few medals would be nice. I'd also like to remain shiny for as long as possible. So please look after me. Wash me. Treat me gently. Try not to hit anything. And remember: if we have a fantastic row, I'm clearly an exceptional boat. If we don't… it's probably you.
Welcome to GCMR, newest member.
We have a feeling you're going to fit in just fine.
